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Listed below are the worst issues from Niagara in 2022

From tightrope anniversaries to lighthouses to nativity scenes, here's what annoyed me last year.

Yeah, yeah, I am again, let’s not make an entire factor about it. Ten months off with my child was nice, so rewarding, bonded a lot with my daughter, blah blah blah, you are all sick of me speaking about fatherhood by now.

So let’s transfer on ahead, and by ahead I imply let’s do the other and look backward, as a result of I’ve obtained an inventory of grievances to air from the previous 10 months whereas I used to be off. I missed loads of good things whereas I used to be away being a stay-at-home trophy husband, however I do not wanna let this stuff off the hook so here is all of the stuff that aggravated me throughout my absence from the newspaper, beginning with that new “diverging diamond” they constructed on the Niagara-on-the-Lake exit of the QEW.

It is terrible. It is over-engineered nonsense that claims to maneuver visitors extra easily and effectively however would not. On paper, if everybody understands precisely the way it works, and everybody strikes by this factor completely, then sure, I’ll concede it does the truth is transfer visitors round significantly better. However all it takes is one confused driver wanting the mistaken approach and questioning why he is driving on the mistaken facet of the highway, and ready for a gap that’s by no means going to come back as a result of it is already there, and the entire thing falls aside.

The one factor worse than the diverging diamond intersection is the Level Abino Lighthouse. As I’ve written earlier than, I consider the Level Abino Lighthouse in Fort Erie is Niagara’s worst vacationer attraction. In some way, towards all odds, it managed to get even worse final summer season. As if being locked behind the gates of an upscale personal neighborhood wasn’t unhealthy sufficient, final summer season, what little public entry existed to the lighthouse was diminished even additional. Time was, for those who jumped by sufficient hoops and signed sufficient waivers, you would at the least stroll to the lighthouse on sure days in the summertime. Final 12 months the strolling entry was fully minimize off. City corridor claimed it was “briefly unavailable because of highway development,” however I am going to eat my hat if strolling web site entry to the lighthouse returns this 12 months, if ever.

Subsequent up, I missed the tenth anniversary of the Nik Wallenda tightrope stroll over Niagara Falls, which is a bummer as a result of it means I missed one other alternative to jot down about the way it was essentially the most overhyped tightrope stunt in human historical past. Why was it so unhealthy? One phrase: harness. The man was carrying a harness. You possibly can’t name it a “death-defying” stunt after which strap on a harness, which defended the demise you have been supposedly defending together with your tightrope stroll.

Shifting on, what was up with pickleball in Niagara-on-the-Lake final summer season? Some crotchety enjoyable police launched a authorized problem to cease pickleball as a result of it is too noisy or some such nonsense. The entire thing felt like a nasty satirical joke about Niagara-on-the-Lake that someway made the leap to actuality.

Y’know who else makes unhealthy jokes? Jeff Dunham. That man shouldn’t be humorous. So guess what I did when he got here to Niagara? I did not purchase a ticket. Guess what I did not do? Launch a campaign to have St. Catharines Metropolis Corridor ban him from making his unhealthy jokes right here. If I made an inventory of the highest 500 issues I needed to see metropolis corridor sort out, deciding which comedy acts to permit on the town wouldn’t be on it.

What could be on that record although? Nativity scenes. Councilors in St. Catharines have to develop a backbone and eliminate the nativity scene at metropolis corridor. Look, I do know you’ve got obtained strain from the nonnas to maintain the nativity scene, and belief me I do know what it is like going up towards the nonnas, it is an uphill battle, however a nativity scene has no place at metropolis corridor. Full cease.

I might go on. I’ve extra issues on my record (like how they constructed an artwork set up at Montebello Park known as “Humanity” whereas additionally having so little humanity that they have been kicking out folks experiencing homelessness and erecting fences round constructions in the identical park to maintain them away) , nevertheless it seems I’ve already reached my phrase restrict and I do not wanna take a look at my editor’s persistence on my first week again.

James Culic is (as soon as once more) Niagara this Week’s common columnist and he is joyful to be again. You possibly can electronic mail him at jculic@niagarathisweek.com or holler on Twitter @jamesculic.

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